Navigating Soft Skills » Teaching Us Compassion - What Gives?
Last week I was struck by two of the world’s most esteemed men arriving on U.S. soil to spread their message of compassion, the Pope and the Dali Lama. Profound as their messages were, I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to our so called civilized society? As a nation, we embraced their messages from […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Is Your Halo Too Tight?
During a meeting this week, the discussion drifted off the agenda onto the immediate crisis’ facing the non-profit. There was the urgency of launching the new Website and the pressing need to raise additional funds to fulfill commitments made before the economy began to tank. As I sat listening, as an observer, I was struck […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Painting Over the Past
A specialty restuarant in the Seattle area had hired a consultant to help them with a problem. The partners explained the demise of the establishment due to poor leadership, the previous owner’s inconsistencies in cleanliness, service and quality of food. As new owners, they had a plan to revitalize the place to attract and retain […] [Link]
The Nexilist's Notebook » Why Smart People Do Stupid Things
There have a been a lot of stories lately from Ted Haggard to Eliot Spitzer that beg the question of why some very smart and capable people do some very stupid things. I have been thinking about this and I decided that some of my recent research on psychology can shed light on this question. 1) Paradoxical effect: There is … [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » Teaching by Speaking Honestly
It was my first time presenting to this class and the children wanted to know more about me than my subject. My answers to these personal questions were, at one level, irrelevant, but how I handled these questions — how honest I seemed to them — had everything to do with how they listened when I returned to my subject. … [Link]
The Nexilist's Notebook » Pain at the Pump?
Those pesky economic bubbles just seem to keep popping up. Then they pop. Things are calm for a little while and then another bubble comes along. There is all this money that wants a home and a “good” rate of return. Now commodities like foods and oil are bubbling. There is a government commission called the Commodity Futures Trading Commission … [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » When Teachers Run Out
I spoke to a teacher who told me his life was changing and he was not sure he could continue teaching. Teachers can run out. If you push yourself toward enough doors and life pushes back, if you face enough reversals and dissapointments, you can find yourself without a reservoir from which to teach. I have talked about how disaster … [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » Taking Breaks
We understand that breaks are good for us, for our concentration, for our work. We may even advise our students to take breaks to better their focus and ability. But somehow we do not always find time. Perhaps tomorrow; today is busy. The greater the pressure to achieve, to assure our students achieve, the harder it is to see the … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » What Do We Say?
Thursday of last week, a dear and valued friend’s mother passed away. At first, she notified me of her passing through email with a mention that she would call me shortly. Just hours prior to hearing this news, I showed up for a meeting with someone I had never met. She wanted to see our […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Shifting Tide
Yesterday, in a meeting that was focused on how to get the troops motivated to perform to a higher standard, one of the attendees, a business consultant, described her plan to motivate and activate change from within. She had a good plan but with one fatal flaw. Her plan was to call a meeting of […] [Link]
The Authentic Organization » Good Fences: On Boundaries, Agency, and Wholeness in Work Life
Imagine this scenario: You receive an unexpected inheritance that enables you to quit the job that has eaten up so much of your time, get some well-deserved rest, and then spend the time you previously dedicated to the job (and commuting to the job and recovering from the job) on your kids and your art. (This scenario assumes you have … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » When Anger Negatively Impacts
This week I had two meetings with executive directors of non-profits. I’d not met either of these two women - it was our first introduction. What struck me was the contrast in attitudes and body language. One woman obviously embraced her mission with her heart and soul. It was apparent from the moment she appeared […] [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » When the Teacher is Angry
I want to say more about the teacher who gets angry while teaching. In Anger, I say that anger demands action but that you should refrain from acting in anger, no matter how justified you feel. I also say that it is essential that you not tell the student that you are not angry, because you will damage your communication … [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » The Student with a Narrow Focus
Some of the most accomplished students have a learning process of rigorous focus. They look only at what they need to succeed in the scope of the class or subject and accept from themselves no deviation in their attention. These are often solid achievers and high performers. When the curriculum demands it — medical school, for example — they may … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Boundaries: Healthy to the Absurd
During a dinner conversation with an acquaintance, she asked if I would attend a class she was giving on setting boundaries. After some dialogue about what the class outcomes would be, I agreed. I wasn’t interested in a therapy session, just the basics of setting and keeping boundaries with others. I do well setting them […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Betrayal - Trust Abused
Last week, a former Catholic priest made a profound statement. He stated, “If you don’t know my hurts how can I call you my friend? If you don’t know, you’re not my friend, merely an aquaintance.” That got me to thinking about my friends. I tested my knowledge of them by asking them what their […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Diversity
This week an international speaker and author called with an inquiry. She had just been asked to speak about diversity. Obama’s speech and the firestorm around it had ignited a topic that, heretofore, had been skirted in the context of open and honest, genuine and authentic dialogue. This firm asked if she could or would […] [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » Teaching without Action
Whatever the subject, a teacher is generally expected to do something to teach. That is, to act in some way that conveys the subject to the student. Another way to look at teaching is that our purpose is the student’s learning, and our actions should be in support of that purpose. So if the student is learning without us doing … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Professional Versus Personal Life
While watching the spectacle of now former Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer plead his case before the world this week, I was struck by his repeated comment that his behavior was a personal matter. Does this man truly believe that what he does in his private life has no bearing on his public and […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Hobby or Business - You Decide
A few years ago, I was asked to meet with a scientist/engineer to talk about his business. He had spent ten years in his laboratory designing a piece of hardware for the electronic industry. From the moment we met, I knew I was in the presence of an Einstein type character. His passion was tinkering […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » The Honesty Conundrum
Yesterday, I had a conversation with my business partner, Laura Tonkin, about a statement in a new workbook we’re writing. There was a question to be answered about the soft skill honesty. “Do I refrain from speaking when I cannot speak honestly without causing unnecessary harm to others?” Our discussion was lively and engaging. How would […] [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » Teaching with Lies
I am delighted with this approach to teaching using deliberate falsehoods in part because it lessens the typical student passivity that lecture creates. It is a more challenging approach for the teacher, and may not be effective in less fact-driven and testable areas of study, but it is worth exploring. The frame is the essential part here, of course, and … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Act Now Before It’s Too Late
Flexibility and adaptability are skills that you will master in months ahead, if you’re smart. In addition, you’ll need to get your team on board for what may be a rough ride ahead. While optimism is going to be essential, so too must you deal with realities. The realities are that survival during this recession, […] [Link]
The Nexilist's Notebook » Ancient Tech
Modern Western intellectual tradition tends to discount the technological capabilities of ancient societies. One of the reasons for this is the fact that very little in the way of hardware or documentation has survived down thru the centuries. Sometimes knowledge was deliberately hidden or destroyed. But every now and then, we stumble across evidence of amazing technical sophistication from long … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Political Candidates
Intriguing, is it not, that our candidates vying for the top spot, President of the United States of America, are being judged by their soft skills, not hard skills, to lead the powerful nation in the world. It’s all about their core competencies, the soft skills they need to lead. Some of the vital characteristics […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Yes, but she’s really good
Recently, my hair stylist, in the midst of purchasing a hair salon, began discussing the changes she was going to initiate once the transfer of ownership took place this week. As I listened to her explain the current state of affairs in the salon and how she was going to attract new customers, I couldn’t […] [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Loyalty: Walk the Talk
It’s not uncommon anymore to hear employees express, with heightened emotions, that they have no loyalty to their employer, their supervisor or their team. Two or three decades ago, it may have been thought but seldom verbalized. There would have been shame associated with it. Unabashedly, today it’s a common refrain and spoken with pride […] [Link]
The Guru's Handbook » Teaching as a Colleague
Teaching a colleague is one of the more subtle and challenging forms of teaching, because unlike the manager-subordinate relationship, or the classic teacher-student dynamic, there is no mutual assumption of authority with which one person can hold the other’s attention. A more delicate and deft approach is needed. Teaching without assumption of authority is a sort of stealth teaching. For … [Link]
The Authentic Organization » Good Fences: On Boundaries, Agency, and Wholeness in Work Life
Imagine this scenario: You receive an unexpected inheritance that enables you to quit the job that has eaten up so much of your time, get some well-deserved rest, and then spend the time you previously dedicated to the job (and commuting to the job and recovering from the job) on your kids and your art. (This scenario assumes you have … [Link]
Navigating Soft Skills » Adversity: Gets Our Attention
It’s not uncommon to hear someone lament that “it’s not fair”. Life happens and it’s not necessarily fair nor are adversities evenly allocated to each of us in equal doses or like kind events. Life happens and it happens more to some than others. LIfe is not fair; life just is what it is - […] [Link]